Journey's End

       December 15^th 2005, was one of the greatest days of my life, I was witness to the birth of democracy in Iraq.  It is a rarity to be a part of such an historic event. Despite any and all arguments about the why we are here; by some accounts 75% of Iraqis registered to vote did so (Imagine who or groups of who, would not be in office if 75% of American voters turned out!). Despite threats (very real threats) of violence Iraqi men and women lined up and waited; some for hours, to vote. They waited patiently in lines that would have driven me mad! They have never before had such an opportunity to vote and have a say in their own nation. While none of these candidates (nearly 8000 of them), will share the overwhelming 99.9% landslide victory Saddam Hussein (Former dictator, tyrant, and poet) once enjoyed. The day passed without incident, save for the aforementioned self-determination of the nation by its citizens. All was quiet on virtually all fronts of the war in Iraq.  In fact, I can honestly say I was bored. Being bored in war is a good thing, and as of late, I have been blissfully bored to no end. Which is why I have not posted for some time, I simply had nothing to say.

 

Our battalion awards ceremony was on the 17^th and I am now, at long last a 1^st Lieutenant. Odd, I never imagined I’d ever be a 1LT, and now like some magic wand was waived the often comical look of confusion that plagues most Second Lieutenants is gone from my face. In its place is a grimace of a combat veteran, a sort of permanent scowl with my cover pulled down over my eyes and a frown etched on my face I move about the base walking briskly and as of late avoiding most unnecessary conversation. I have not been in a particularly bad mood, but save for time left here in Iraq, the mind has distanced itself from much around me. Funny, I don’t feel any different. It was a great moment in my life. I stood with 2 other officers and we were promoted together. Our battalion commander asked us to address the battalion and I was caught so off guard by it I couldn’t think of a thing to say; oh, and the microphone wouldn’t bend down so I had to stand on my toes to speak clearly into it. It reminded me of my speech for Student Council back in 1985. All I could think to say was that we’d seen our last full moon in Iraq.  I hope that is true. At the ceremony promotions and medals were awarded for our time here and for some very courageous young men, the medals were well deserved. For others…well perhaps another time.

Looking back at the last year, I remember so much and so many people I have met, and had the honor of serving with. I have seen some wonderful things here and I have seen some of the worst violence, and the darkness of the human soul. I have seen vicious acts of hatred, and I have seen selflessness I never thought possible. This war is different from other wars…This war is exactly the same as every other war. War devours everything in its path; there is no mercy to it. There is no reason in it, it exists to destroy, and as long as there are governments run by mortals there will always be war. Yet, even in war the brighter side of humanity can shine through, I have seen it. Average Iraqis handing me a bottle of cold water in the blistering heat, a little girl holding the hand of a grieving soldier whose friend had been mortally wounded in an IED attack. Defiant Iraqi civilians standing in line to vote, so that their voice is heard.

 

         How do I explain this place to those who will not listen, we are winning here. Of that, there is no doubt. The cost is high, but as Heinlein asserts; “Something given has no value.” A free Iraq has cost us more than I ever wanted to spend, in time, lives, friends and blood. For the soldier there is no politics (at least there shouldn’t be) for the soldier if there is to be war, then we destroy the enemies of our nation. War, as horrific as it is, is simple. Everything else is hard.

           I have been afforded the honor of being an Army officer in time of war, and I have served with the very best that our nation has to offer. When this is over and I move on to other things, it will be from this perspective that I move forward. Simplicity, Occam’s razor suggests we not add anything unnecessary to a problem to solve it. In short keep it simple, when you find a problem fix it. I will miss the men I have served with here, when you spend nearly 16 hours a day with the same people every day for 18 months, like them or not they become family. I see that now, again perspective, and a healthy amount of time spent apologizing to myself for being such a miserable SOB at times in my life. A healthy amount of time spent reaching out to old friends I’d slighted years and years ago, and saying I’m sorry. A healthy amount of time spent not talking but listening, and I mean really listening to what people had to say. I have met some great people through emails and in meeting them; I have been presented with some great opportunities for life after “this war”. Like I said 11 months ago, there are only two days here, the day you arrive and the day you leave (yes like prison). Soon it will be tomorrow and I will leave. Not that this hasn’t just been a blast (often quite literally), but I’ll be glad to kick the dust of Southern Baghdad from my boots and focus on tomorrow, walk my dog, and hug my wife, and move past the only life I have known for nearly a year. Soon I’ll be whole again.

 

      I am not certain if I’ll post again, not being dramatic but this blog (in its current form) has nearly run its course. I would like to thank everyone who has written me, even those who attacked me and lashed out with anger and at times apparent insanity. Interesting at times, and often down right hilarious. Those of you who sent me comfort items thank you so very much, your kindness and consideration truly lifted my spirits (AFSister!!) Those of you who shared pictures of your families, and children I appreciate your sharing what “normal” is with me. Those of you who think of me as a friend, I am always an email away. Those of you who thanked me for doing my job, well again all I can say is that sometimes the extent of my patriotism was putting my boots on, especially when I didn’t want to. So, I humbly thank you for reaching out to me and expressing your gratitude, thank you, thank you, thank you! Those of you who engaged in healthy and heated debate with me over our different political views, I thank you as well, soon we’ll see one way or the other won’t we. Those of you who continue to question this war, and why we are here, good for you, without different opinions, there is no debate. Without debate and open discussion, our perspective is skewed and we can ill afford to lose anymore of who we are because of a lack of perspective. Seek reason, find common ground, and never be afraid to stand up for what is right. 

 

Finally, to my wife. My angel, my best friend and my compass. It has been so long since I watched you drive away from the Airport on April 21^st 2005. It has been so long since my cheeks were stained with tears as I watched you pull away and felt as if I’d just died. At times, I thought it was the last time I’d ever see you, and at that thought my heart grew cold. We have been apart for 9 months now, and soon we will be together again, the one and only wish I have had since I saw you last was that I could see you again. To see you smile at me is the best present I could ever hope for, it is in fact the only thing I have let myself hope for, for months now. When this is over and I hang this faded uniform I hope to spend the rest of my life with you and when we grow old together, and reflect on this war and our time apart as with soldiers in all wars I’ll be able to smile and say; “I was there…”

 

What will I miss about Iraq? Nothing…everything.

 Until the next…

RDC

 

 

Comments

[Peter]

You must have killed lots of innocent Iraqis to get the promotion!
Congratulations!

(RUSS HERE, This tool holds his manhood cheap daily. I hope he has a LONG life avoiding mirrors, and direct eye contact. Diddling himself to the sears catalog. Peter, you are the lowest kind of coward. You attack me, and hide behind a BS IP, don't leave an email address for me or others to respond. Leave me alone, choad. Gop back to your little playgroup, high five with your other mates, and say with as much pride as a worm such as yourself can muster; "I sure told him!". Peter, you are a total putz. Good luck with that.)

Russ

[Stalker2a/Stinger56/Demon26]

Turn your frown upside down!

[toni]

Welcome home. I'm am so heartened to see you've arrived on US Soil and hopefully by now have reunited with your wife. You'll have to let us know what your going to do about the,,,,election!!

[David Earney]

Congratulations on your safe return home!

[Sisyphus]

Welcome back! Well done. Family time and may all the beer be "on the house."

[HomefrontSix]

I just read that you're back on US soil. Woohoo!!! Great news to start off the week. Welcome home.

Thank you for your blog - your thoughts, your experiences, your trials and tribulations. I have enjoyed reading and will miss it if you decide not to post anymore.

Welcome home and thank you.

- hfs

[Wes Jackson]

Just linked over from Juliette's for the first time.

Thank you from myself and all my family for your service. And that thanks is HeartFelt indeed.

I will read your back story, and send nuggets to those most in need of understanding.
Welcome home!

[AFSister]

Just got the good news about you being boots on US ground...
YIIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Home, 1LT!

[Lisa Gilliam]

Merry Christmas LT.C and Happy New Year!Also,congrats on your promotion.Thank you so much for your service to our nation and stay safe.

[Neil Reinhardt]

Hi Russ,

Congratulations on your promotion and on your soon return to So. Cal. I know you will be very happy to get home and get started in your political career.

As I told you before, I am willing to work on your campaign. (That is, IF your willing accept an Atheist Activists help.) And if you play, or would like to learn to play, beach volleyball, I hope you look me up for that as well.

Those who do not understand our actions to remove Saddam & to free the people of Iraq was both fully justified and a very necessary part of our war on terror are either ignorant of sufficient facts OR they are really just too stupid to be able to comprehend the facts.

(Most probably the latter.)

Hitler wrote a book "Mein Kampf" and in it said what he intend to do. Very few read it.

And few of those who did read it believed he would even try to do what he said he would do.

While Hitler did not get all of his goals acomplished, his attempt at doing so cost well over 50,000,000 lives plus the near destruction of many countries.
Hitler started with only few supporters and few, if any of them were religious fanatics who wanted to die so they could go to their rewards in some make-believe heaven.

Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda have laid out their long range plans to kill or convert all the un-believers and place the entire world under a Taliban form of government.

And they do not have, as Hitler did, just a few supporters, rather, they have the resources of at least two countries (Iran & Syria) plus over 100,000,000 religious fanatics who are willing to take up arms in their cause.

They declared war on us in 1978 and they will not stop until we have either killed, or captured enough of them to deter them from their attempts in accomplishing the long range plans they have laid out.

Anyone who is so naive as to think they will not be killed because they were, or are, against our war in Iraq are among the most totally stupid people in the world.

Mere words are not anywhere sufficient enough to thank you and all other others serving our county, yet they are all I have to offer.

Were I young enough to be back in the service, I would be most honored to be serving with all of you.

(Yes, there are, as Pat Tillman, as well as many thousands of others have, and are proving, "Atheists in Foxholes")

I wish you the best.

Please, Take Care!

Neil C. Reinhardt

[Rob Morse]

Dear Lt C.,
Please post a few more times. Yes, you will soon be home save and sound if prayers could do so. Please let us know if our prayers and yours were answered.

Rob

[tnunn]

THANK YOU!!!!!

[membrain]

Congratulatyions on your promotion Rusten. I wish you and your family all the very best that life has to give. Thanks again for all the wonderful things you've done.

Godspeed.

[Carol]

Thank you for walking dangerous paths on my behalf. I look forward to a final two words: "I'm HOME."

[reader]

Carry on, Sir!

[Angel]

Congratulations LT!! This is the first time I've read your blog and it brought tears to know you will no longer be bloging.

Your almost done sir, keep up the good work!!

Hooah!!!

Angel Sivell
Family Support Group President
Schofield Barracks, HI

[Dennis]

God bless you and thank you from the whole of my heart for your service, Lieutenant.
Dennis

[Sherri]

Thank you...for everything. Sad to see you siging off, but so very happy to know you'll be home soon. God Bless and good luck in all you do.

[Wayne's Mom]

Add my name to the list of those who dropped a few tears at the thought of your last post. Our own son came home last week. I'm wondering what we'll do with our blog now. We've made so many friends like you, each of whom has become part of our extended family through shared experiences and spoken prayers. God bless you and your wife as you begin the next phase of your journey. And congratulations on your promotion.

[Sean]

Congratulations on your promotion and my fair winds follow your back all the way into your wife's arms. Good luck and us milbloggers will miss you (not too much though, you wrote too good!:-P)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years.

[Karen]

Congratulations on your promotion and Godspeed as you make the trip home. I hope the remaining time goes by very, very quickly. And, needless to say, thank you a million times and then some more for your service.

I sent you a gift from your wish list earlier this year. In your kind thank-you letter, you mentioned running against Maxine. I say go for it and let me know how I can help!

God bless you and keep you safe, and my prayers also go out to your family.

[MBN]

Russ,

I am not ashamed to admit I did tear up a bit reading this, probably your final post. You have never been far from our thoughts or prayers. I wish you nothing but the best in your every future endeavor. I am proud to call you my friend. Godspeed.

Michael Bruce Nelson
CPT, AD, Ohio Army National Guard

[Carl]

Congratulations on your promotion 1st lieutenant
You are indeed a brave and patriotic soul and I hope you receive everything you wish for in 2006, you've done your country and the world a great service.
Best Wishes & God speed to you
Sincerely Carl Danby, HMS Ocean

[Lisa]

Thank you. For me, your posts have been insightful, informative & emotional...I will miss your writing. I hope 2006 will bring you peace of mind, joy and happiness for you and your family. Again thank you for all that you & your Marines are doing, have done and will keep doing. Words just don't seem to be enough but, I guess, they will have to do.

[Maggie45]

Sir, congratulations on your promotion. Thank you for sharing your life in Iraq with us. God speed home to your wife. You are a great guy.