THE POLITICS OF "OCCUPATION" THE CATCH 22 OF POST “MAJOR COMBAT” IRAQ

“Fighting the French is easier than fighting my own higher command.”
Heinz Guderian



There is a disturbance in morale, it is effecting everyone, it is spreading like cancer.


    The will to write, has left me as of late.  Changes have happened here, none of them life shattering, but the effect is like getting hit in the stomach mid-stride while sprinting full speed.  The effects have been devastating both personally and professionally. 60% of our command group has been “reassigned”, replaced with active duty officers.  Necessity in some cases, insulting in others.  Of course I cannot speak in specifics, yet the combat veterans amongst you can appreciate the mood it has caused among this soldiers of this battalion.  As an officer here daily I must reassure the soldiers that these changes are for the best, and that we have a job to do no matter what.  Lately the taste of bile has become so familiar, the contempt in my heart so pungent it seeps through my pours that my anger and vehemence emit an odor of their own.  Yet despite it all, the only thing I can do is move ahead one foot at a time. Left , right, left.  This morning I was going to shave, I didn’t.  Looking in the mirror at that moment...I didn’t want to look into my own eyes.  I still haven’t shaved today, tomorrow is looking doubtful as well.  How do you tell a soldier to shake it off, when it has hit you harder than he?  Is that a lie?  Or am I protecting myself from it as well? 

    My roommate, LT Irish, has been nearly killed for a third time today.  The Durkas are tossing TNT at us now.  A stick bounced off of LT Irish’s HMMWV, he told me that the first thing he thought as it bounced less than a foot from him, the only thing between him and it was thick armoured glass.  He said he wondered why they were tossing road flares at him in daylight.  Using them for signaling in broad daylight didn’t make sense.  Then he realized what it was. Irish, is one of the most decorated soldiers in this BN, and to the chagrin of the Infantryman here, he is a Field Artillery Officer, (his Military Occupational Specialty is desperately trying to find relevance in post “major combat” Iraq.  He works as a pseudo politician, dealing daily with local Iraqi politicians.  Dealing daily selfish, self-interested, local politicians.  He by default is an “ambassador” if you will.  Yet he is allowed to make no official statements.  I am also considered an ambassador of good will, and deal on a continuous basis with Kurds, their director of Intelligence, and various Sheikhs, and Imams.  Yet although we never promise anything, we are accused of lying to them, (not the Kurds), and deceiving them.    Yet, I am not allowed to file paperwork for 2006. 

    LT Irish, saw the man who tried to murder him fleeing into a vehicle, he ordered the gunner to fire at the man and the vehicle.  The kid in the turret, not much older than 24 froze.  Momentarily paralyzed with the horrific realization that he was about to murder another human being.  Let’s be honest here.  This is a war, in war men (women, even children) kill.  It can be reasoned away as for a greater good, for righteousness, for honor etc...  I make no such distinction, it is murder, plain and simple.  Justified, legal, righteous, or not; putting, lead to flesh, steel to flesh, or fire to flesh, causing death is murder.  In the end, if your cause is just then and only then are you vindicated.  Yet I fear in “this war” (against the radical Islamic Fundamentalists and their beliefs) will long surpass my lifetime.  I remember hearing a group of Iwo Jima Veterans speaking, and one told of the day he killed his first Japanese soldier; he said he was crying and his platoon sergeant slapped him so hard it knocked him down.  The man, towering above him told him to get it together, and move forward.  Later in the respite from the days fighting, he asked the SGT not why he’d struck him, but if killing ever got any easier.  The SGT said you get used to it.  I’ll never forget what he said to me, he said; “I never got used to it, but I did get good at it.”.

    My roommate left this morning and nearly got killed on his way home.  That is simply not “normal”.  How does one explain to a spouse when asked innocently “How was your day?”?  I laughed and made light of it with him, telling him there is an Iraqi out there who wants to kill him.  Ribbing him for not “dropping the “Durka” himself.  Here there is no real outlet for emotion, yet I suspect we both wanted to crumple to the floor and weep, not from pain, not from fatigue, not from anything other than the fact that “what the hell else could we do?”  Trying to make sense of this place is as impossible as moving a mountain by smashing your face into it.  Some days we just don’t win.  Today has been one of those days.  LT Irish, was so angry today his weapon was taken away until he calmed down.  Our soldiers often hesitate from pulling the trigger, all to often it is because of an almost unreasonable resentment of JAG.  The very presence of a military lawyer, causes some soldiers to spit in disgust.  Admittedly at times I have shared this sentiment; there are just some feelings that defy conventional wisdom, I know better...yet when I see JAG I too feel my stomach turn.  I now know what an ant feels like under under a magnifying glass. 


    26 JUL 05

    A few hours of solid, albeit Tylenol PM induced sleep, and I felt better today, than yesterday. My wife has met another wife who now must endure the separation of this deployment.  The two of them got together over email and IM and introduced me “virtually” to a new officer in the battalion.  He arrived late last night, a little worn from his journey but otherwise in one piece.  It was good to finally meet him, in person.  Odd to meet replacements, I am reminded of stories from veterans from wars past of how they reacted towards the new guys.  “FNGs” they used to be called.  To me they are just soldiers who have to come into the this place pretty much alone.  The only bonds they have are with each other, then spread apart throughout the battalion and literally starting over. Also one of our wounded veterans came back last night, he looked lean and hungry.  Not for payback as one may expect, but to get back to his men.  This is something that civilians don’t easily understand.  Why would anyone who has been wounded want to come back to “this”?  Simple, until we all go home, this is where we belong.  Would a parent bear the burden of being apart from a child any longer than need be?  I pray not.  This is no different.  Not nearly as dramatic as;  “That he who hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made...For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.”  paraphrased from Henry the V.  Not nearly as eloquent as that, but the feeling to a soldier (a professional of arms) is that he be with his fellows.  Seeing this returning veteran warmed my heart in a way that words cannot express.  I shook his hand and embraced him as I would a brother. No words were exchanged between us, none were needed I helped him with his kit, and he went on his way.    Oddly the newly arrived soldiers followed him, it reminded me of watching ducks. 


    This morning when I came into the morning meeting, he looked up and smiled at me.  Not so much out of anything other than a familiar face. He looked clean, fresh, and eager.  I remember that... OK, that was a lie, I cannot remember what it was like to have a fresh laundered (dry cleaned, or fabric softener) uniform.  I cannot remember the last time I woke up and didn’t curse.  There was  a series of 5 explosions during our meeting, each time I noticed him flinch a little.  The “vets” sitting around couldn’t help but laugh.  Not that he was nervous; that would be cruel and honestly none of us has the strength to be cruel anymore.  We laughed because what he was feeling was something we could remember...fear.  Last night my roommate had a nightmare, I heard him talking in his sleep, and when he woke this morning he looked exhausted, and despite nearly being killed yesterday, he donned his armour and departed the room and went outside the wire again.  I admire him for that, and only like men of arms at war can I love that man.  He is my friend and he is my brother, LT Irish goes on leave in 10 days he will be missed. 

 

 

I can't even tell you about a CSM who countermanded the orders of the ground commander and let three Durkas go who local Iraqis said detonated an IED.  I can't even begin to tell you how wrong that is and on how many levels it enrages me.  It begs utter lunacy.  That is a story for when I am not bound by the UCMJ.  5 months 16 days and a wake up.  I am indeed a republican, and I do support our actions here, but there are things that those of us who blog, out of respect for the rules that govern us, will not say.  For if we do, then how can we hold our soldiers to these same standards?

    More lawyers here today, and more briefings on the Army Values, of which in my opinion there are far too many.  There are three general orders in the army yet there are 7 Army Values.  Didn’t General (five star General) Douglas MacArthur say it for us all; “Duty, honor, country.”  What you ought to  be, what you can be, what you will be.  It seems that there are so many “words” in our military.  So many Rules of Engagement, so many General Orders, so many things for soldiers to have to remember.  So many laws. What plagues our society, has bled into our military.  Our soldiers fear lawyers here more than they fear our enemies.  They hate lawyers here more than they hate the men who are trying to kill us.  Am I the only person who sees an enormous problem with that?  I have been called a warmonger by one Trazanna Leigh Halstead-Moreno.  She called me this when she was 12 and I 14. She even gave me the definition once and after over 2 decades I still remember it.  One who advocates war or warlike policies. When I was a younger man, I think that that definition fit. For the boy she knew then.  That boy was tested overseas on the dark continent, and the man that emerged no longer searched for glory in battle.  The man that emerged saw only the futility of it.  This is not to say that I became a pacifist.  I just began to see value in the idea of diplomacy.  I am on hiatus from Norwich University pursuing a Masters in international relations/peace war and diplomacy studies.  Again I found myself in a catch 22.  We can look back in the history of war, and see where diplomacy has failed us time and time again.  Here, now I am in a place where diplomacy was used by the former regime to delay, stall, and manipulate the us for 12 years.  A soldier who seeks public office will always be caught between two worlds, peace and war.  In the whole of European history, the continent has known only 11 years of constant peace (in a row for those who wish to quibble).  When it was conquered by the legions of Rome.    War is a result of humanity failing to police itself, war brings out the ugliness in man, yet it also does something else to us; it unites us.  On September 11th 2001, the world stood with us and felt our pain, on that day the entire world was one.  From the ashes of the single murderously bloody day in modern US history e pluribus unum, out of many one.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to preach. Life just seems so simple to me, yet we complicate things needlessly, which brings me to my original point.  We are wining this war, of this I am certain.  The cost is high, but the cost of losing too high.  We have never lost a war, ask any Vietnam Veteran, on every single field of battle be it chosen by us, by the NVA, or by the Vietcong we were victorious.  Every single time. To put it in plain language every generation can understand. War was outlawed by the League of Nations.  They failed. War it has saved us from time to time, but war; if we are not judicious in exertion of our undeniable power, shall be the end of us all.  Duty...


In Shadow I Remain,
RDC


PS To the wonderful woman in San Diego who sent me a copy of J.C. Watts’ “The Color of a Conservative” I humbly thank you.  I truly appreciate the book and your words that came with it.  Here is to Nov 2006, may the future bring change!

 

DJ…”All for You…”

Comments

[Lisa Gilliam]

Lt. your fruststration is undrstandable.You soldiers,and marines are doing a fantastic job of defending our nation.Don't even get me started on these imbecilic JAGS,and these lefty lawyers who meddle in things they no nothing about.I have been wandring for some time now,when is the military gonna start kicking these P.C. idiots to the curb.The Army and Air Force are filled with a bunch of loser officers who will get more of you guys killed with all this stupidity they continue to keep imposing on you all.Even the Marines judging by what happened to Lt.Pantano this year even has a slight case of this disease.They seem to be more preoccupied with foolishness such as the USAF's Northern Command wanting to give p.c names to missions.What in the hell does that have to do with our National Security?Did they not learn anything from what happened in England last month?!We need to start doing that stuff here in this country as well.Britain finally realized that all that p.c. stuff was costing them lives needlessly.I know one thing General Patton couldn't be an offficer in the army today,nor would we have an Admiral Halsey in our forces today,because of such nonsense.I guess we are gonna have to get bombed again for the assholes in power to be serious.

[Lisa Gilliam]

Lt. your fruststration is undrstandable.You soldiers,and marines are doing a fantastic job of defending our nation.Don't even get me started on these imbecilic JAGS,and these lefty lawyers who meddle in things they no nothing about.I have been wandring for some time now,when is the military gonna start kicking these P.C. idiots to the curb.The Army and Air Force are filled with a bunch of loser officers who will get more of you guys killed with all this stupidity they continue to keep imposing on you all.Even the Marines judging by what happened to Lt.Pantano this year even has a slight case of this disease.They seem to be more preoccupied with foolishness such as the USAF's Northern Command wanting to give p.c names to missions.What in the hell does that have to do with our National Security?Did they not learn anything from what happened in England last month?!We need to start doing that stuff here in this country as well.Britain finally realized that all that p.c. stuff was costing them lives needlessly.I know one thing General Patton couldn't be an offficer in the army today,nor would we have an Admiral Halsey in our forces today,because of such nonsense.I guess we are gonna have to get bombed again for the assholes in power to be serious.

[Chevy Rose]

One more great post, Russ. You inspire with your honest feelings. You stand tall among men of small minds. God bless and press on.

[DagneyT]

"They hate lawyers here more than they hate the men who are trying to kill us."

Russ, this post would explain why DI's & Drill Sgt.'s are getting getting court martialed stateside for doing what they have been doing for generations! When I heard about what they are doing, my stomach became a cold pit! Lawyers should be outlawed before they take away the only thing between us and the enemy is gone; a strong and willing military!

[Rosemary]

Dear Russ,
How are you sounds kinda stupid, eh? Why do we always start letters this way, anyway? Just something I ponder. Do we really care? Do we want to know? What if they answer? Will we accept it? Yes, I will! lol.

I understand about the JAG. I hate them myself. They ruined a decent man's life on the word of a liar.

I wrote about and stood by 2nd Lt. Ilario Pantano. Not for one minute did I second guess his actions. Untill they are in these situations, I believe they ought to just shut up.

How can we ask you to protect us by putting yourselves on the line, and then tie your hands so you can't even protect yourself? This is outrageous!

You cannot run for office in '06? I asked my political friend about helping you, and I will save that for an e-mail. It is, however, going to cost millions of dollars in California.

If you don't run, you can always do a test run! To get a feel of the process, introduce yourself to many people, etc. That way, there's always '08! You can finish school! You can still meet people. etc. I'm willing to fight for you. It's up to you. Stay safe, and Godspeed.

[Suellen]

Your words stuck with me last night and through the day today. I spent some time writing letters to soldiers that I correspond with. They always write to me that they are fine. Things are great. When in reality I know it's not. I'm just hoping that they have someone that they can be honest with and vent to and not keep it all bottled up inside them. We can take the honesty. We know it's not a bed of roses. Russ, vent all you want. We're here to listen.

[Curt]

I understand that when the VINCENNES shot down the Iranian Airbus back in the 80's, before the 5th Fleet Commander was called, the satff battle captain got the lawyer up and involved.

Keep the faith and thanks for sharing your life here.

[HomefrontSix]

It's bad enough to be over in such a pit but to have morale impacted so deeply by (what appear to be) unnecessary changes and decisions just makes it worse.

Know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers, as do all of your soldiers (especially LT Irish...buy that guy a rabbit's foot or something!).

[toni]

Hi Russ - last weekend I met a soldier I got to know thru emails and care pckgs. He's young, today is 23yoa. We talked for 3 hrs nonstop, him telling me in graphic detail many of his experiences including his best friend getting blown out of a bunker while standing next to him. He can still feel and see all of the blood and matter sprayed all over himself. He's a walking PTSD poster. I get very angry when I find out it's lawyers trying to run this war due to actions of politicians. I don't care if the lawyers are JAG or civilian. I'm sick and tired of politicians playing with "your" lives without any retribution. A pox on them all.

[susan]

The words written within chapter 9 of the Qu'ran provide reason to this war, we have no choice but total victory. The wrath of Islamic Jihadist death cult is upon us, as stated in chapter 9, conversion to Islam is absolute and if necessary followers must wage war to achieve domination. Islam believes war is caused by those infidels who fail to convert.

Lt. Irish, you and all our warriors are the true heroes standing between freedom and total Islamic world domination.

It bothers me greatly that our judicial system, our lawyers, rise to defend the very enemy engaging in our destruction. It also bothers me greatly when we avoid identifying the enemy as not to offend our enemy.

Muhammad's chapter 9 should be required reading for every lawyer, politician, Leftist, dhimmi, and hollywood celebrity who believes this war is about oil or American imperialism. What scares me most is ignorance towards fending off the barbarians from entering the gates.

[Papa Ray]

It won't make you feel anybetter or make your Bud less angry, knowing that your not alone in your flustration or anger.

I wrote a comment at a reporters blog who is embedded with some Marines in Iraq. She got shot at for the first time and was taking it kinda "Personal".

Here it is, see if you see anything feels familiar...

Long ago (37 years ago) I was shot at on purpose for the first time. I knew they were shooting at me and even though I was scared, a feeling of anger started in my gut. That anger built up over the next two years to when I was finally hit, the fear was not there, only more anger, that I could not continue my efforts to kill them.

It took me many, many years to replace that anger with acceptance and with peace.

I feel that anger growing in me again. Every day, Every time I hear of innocent people and our troops being killed and maimed.

I feel more anger every time I read news slanted to reflect badly on this wonderful United States, it's Military and it's President.

I feel more anger every time I see only more foot dragging and open warfare between the Republican and the Democrat Congress.

i feel even more anger when I hear the lies, and misconceptions and hateful things that the left says about everyone and everything not incestous with them.

I feel anger and fear at the lack of understanding of the average American (and other countries) that we are in a war, a real war for our very survival.

Iraq will only be a chapter in the world's history of this new chapter of the war between the Islamic Culture and the rest of the World.

If there is anyone left to write it or read it.

Papa Ray
West Texas
USA

4:31 PM

posted at:http://moab-iraq.blogspot.com/

[Edward]

Rusten,

I can add nothing matching the gravity of Michael's comment or the endorsement by MRJ.

I can only reaffirm my respect for you and your brothers in arms, and my thanks for your sacrifices. Without such men throughout our history, we would have no history.

[ken]

Thanks you so much for sharing the frustation that you and your men are feeling from both the enemy outside the wire and the enemy within. Dude you have got to hook up with Michael Savage, talk show host extrodnaire. Your writings mirror him so closely, "if you don't know your enemy, how are you going to know your enemy". Being tied by lawyers in camo. I know NCOs over there are fighting the same barriers, dishing it out in order to maintain discipline, only to be challenged by a JAG or IG and limp-spined Cmdr. Russ, keep up the good work and writings. Thank you for serving these United States. Russ in 06. Great job 1-184th

KBW

[Pothus]

Russ, your post is both insightful and brutally honest. Your deepest thoughts of how you view the war, gives many of us back home, (me especially) a true and frustrating glimpse into your world. Granted, what you say is only snippets of what a "lay" person such as myself could ever understand, though in reality, I will never understand what you and your men/women go through day by day, minute by minute. My father, (a Viet Nam vet), once told me, "Soldiers don't start wars, politicians do." Diplomacy, when applied and accepted by both sides, can work. When it fails, it is not because of military men like you. It is usually because of weak politicians. They are quick to send good young men and women, such as yourself into harms way, then just as quick to limit your ability to do your jobs.
The one difference in this war though, is that the jihaddists/arhibi(?) couldn't care a wit about diplomacy, that want everyone not Muslim(?) DEAD!
I can see your conviction and pride in doing your duty, and I am honored to read your thoughts and feelings about you part of the GWOT. I know that we are truly fighting for our survival, and you are the sharp end of the spear, allowing us back home to live free and safe.
I can see that when you come home and throw your hat in the ring, America will have a good and deserving representative of the people serving in congress. If I may, I would like to say it is really an honor, (mine) to know such a man as you. It took me a number of years to really respect and honor my father for the years(26) of service he has given to this great country. Growing up a military brat, I guess I took for granted what my father did for this country. Now that I am older, I really understand what it means to serve your country, and what a sacrifice it really is. (Sorry for my long winded thank you), but your words got me thinking, and I wish I could say something that would truly express my heartfelt thanks for the service, that you and all of your fellow servicemen and women are doing for the USA and for the people of Iraq. I stand humbled by what a great man you truly are. (I mean that honestly).
Come home safe. You and your wife deserve a long and happy life together.

Michael

[Big T.]

A kick in the guts? More like a kick in the balls. Between that and the lawyers you're subject to the worst sort of madness to be inflicted on those in combat: a tampered-with team and secong-guessing supervision. Hang tough, my friend, hang tough.

Now go put a shave on your nasty mug!
T.

P.S. I hope Irish's luck holds out.

[TODD]

LT
Once again I am in awe of the powwerful, heartfelt words that you have posted.
I think in all military actions throughout history, there have been leaders that have made illogical decisions based on ego. Here to Iraq this seems to be happening again. The job all of you soldiers have done so far is nothing short of remarkable. You and your brothers are always in our prayers. Stay sharp LT, just as you know any bit bit of complacency can get people killed. I am so much looking forward to your campaign. I live in Laguna Niguel, I would love the chance to volunteer in your cause....

Todd

[mrj]

This is a great example of thoughtful leadership - thinking about our actions and their meaning, then acting decisively. You are able to maintain a balance despite the stress and discomfort - the sign of a natural leader. Don't lose heart, you are doing herculean work, and we are 100% behind you.

[LotharBot]

Thanks for taking the time to write.