MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE

    Across America on this holiday weekend, millions of Americans will celebrate the birth of these United States.  In New York City, there will be thunder in the skies above Manhattan and as children sit atop the shoulders of their Mothers and Fathers their eyes will witness the wonder and majesty of the rockets red glare as night turns to day one burst of brilliant color at a time.  In Boston, the harbor will hold tall ships transformed into a million points of light resting on the waters under the electric sky. In St Louis, the VP fair will hold thousands under the Gateway Arch, as the masses surge for a better seat on the grasses and concrete on the bank of the mighty Mississippi.

     In Bozeman, Montana people will line the streets as floats pass them by and marching bands play homage to the history of a nation forged as much by blood of brave men as the ideas that set the founding Fathers on a collision course with history.  In South Dakota’s Black Hills under Mt Rushmore, thousands will gather under the eyes of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, and Jefferson and children will look into the faces of four of the greatest leaders in the history of the United States as the skies above are ignited in celebration and the citizens below are united not by what makes them different but by what makes them Americans.  In Colorado, the citizens of Montrose will tune their radios to Steven Glassman’s KKXK and listen to a patriotic tribute to America.  Families will throw blankets on the hoods of SUVs, and pick-up trucks and park under the heavens and as the fireworks explode over head the mountains will appear silhouetted against the night sky, and the crisp mountain air will hang heavy with smoke and frenzy.

    In Washington DC, Lincoln will still gaze across the calm of all he surveys, while all eyes are looking to the sky a the annual gala over the holiday weekend Speeches will be made, untold thousands of hot dogs will be eaten, beer consumed, first kisses will be captured under the majestic skies of states all across the land, hands will be held, and children will be both frightened and mystified by the energy in the air.  Dogs will bark at the heavens and as the fireworks fade away they will soon forget the excitement and continue to go about doing what dogs do.  The crowds will disperse and head towards their homes, couples will hold hands, children will wonder with awe why the day was so special, Grandparents will reflect on friends long gone, and recall days when things weren’t so certain.

     As this holiday weekend begins, 10, 000 miles and nearly a dozen time-zones away today is Saturday, nothing more than a day to mark off of the calendar, tomorrow the 3^rd and Monday the 4^th will be a mirror of today.  Heat, dust, sweat, and the foul smell of sewage festering at nearly 100 degrees, on the 4^th as Americans at home celebrate our great nation; men and women across Iraq will stand around armoured HMMWVs and listen intently to patrol briefings.  NCOs and Officers will offer stern cautioning to their Soldiers, Marines and Sailors (maybe even a few Airman) they will be cautioned about driving to closely together and to far apart.  They will be cautioned about the ever present and tell tale signs of IEDs.  Soldiers will smoke cigarettes, and chew the coveted Copenhagen.  They will make jokes, and they will play grab-fanny and make fun of the new guy.  They will all look into each others eyes, and there will be an understanding that today could be the day.  They will all silently pray, that it is not, for there is no such thing as an Atheist in a trench.  That was a lesson Mike Nelson told me from his experiences in Gulf War one.  To this day, I still hear him telling me that when he came home.  As the convoy commander issues his final thoughts they will all suit up and prepare to roll out.

     Everyone will check and recheck their armor, chest plates in place, neck gator fastened, groin protector covering all the right places.  Magazines will be loaded in to M4s, and M9s. M240s, M249s, and M2s will all be loaded and once the threshold of the safety of the base has been crossed fingers will rest uncomfortably on safety switches.  Tired eyes will gain the intensity of a falcon on the hunt, adrenalin will energize heat weary warriors, the instinct to survive will replace everything, and the only thing more intense than this for these young men and women is knowing that while they are here blurred in between what were once called frontlines the fight is here, and not in Bozeman, Montrose, St Louis, DC, Venice, Tallahassee, Long Beach, Phoenix, Broken Arrow, Watauga, or anywhere USA.  From sea to shining sea on this 4^th of July once again the right to breath free will be paid for in the blood of patriots.  I hope nearly to the point of desperation I do not die here, but my country gave me the gift of freedom, the only thing I have to offer to her in return is my blood.  I can only give my life once for my homeland, if need be, here in Iraq I’ll repay the debt.  My only worry; when my world ends will my love for my wife remain?

    Monday is the 4^th of July, one of my favorite holidays, traditionally.  This year is different; the 4^th is nothing more than when crossed off of my calendar, one less day in Iraq.  To the others here in the 1^st Battalion 184^th Infantry Regiment, 3^rd Infantry Division it is a Monday, it means patrols, debriefs, trips to the mess hall, lines at the PX, phone center, and smoothie shop.  It means teary-eyed husbands speaking nearly inaudibly into telephones to their wives (avoiding at all cost letting their fellows hear their voices breaking as tears fall to the ground; and disappear forever). It means men and women talking to their little ones from 10,00 miles away and perking up momentarily until the call is ended and they walk out once again into the barren landscape of the FOB, and the heat engulfs them again, and with the heat comes regret of yet another holiday missed with family.  As eyes and tears are dried by the Iraqi sun the base will be oddly quiet.  Everyone here hoping that there are no fireworks, for us fireworks mean only death and suffering. Younger soldiers will attend the karaoke contest, and take advantage of the ever so brief respite from the uncertainty that lies only a few hundred meters out side the gate.  As for me, I’ll smile as needed and joke as needed with the young soldiers here, but my heart lies in Venice Beach, California.

    It was this time last year that I was walking on the beach with my wife and I got the call that I was going to Iraq.  I would again be leaving my wife.  Thunder6 called me and told me we were Mobilizing for Iraq the excitement in his voice was the polar opposite of the dread that welled in the pit of my stomach. My only hope as this holiday draws nearer to us is that it passes for us without excitement, without fanfare, and above all else without bloodshed.  Soldiers fight and die, for it is what soldiers have always done.  We kill the enemies of our nation; duty.  We help sow the seed of freedom wherever it is planted; honor.  We serve the greatest nation on the face of the earth and do so willingly; country.  Yet it is we, the soldiers of our nation that live with the ghosts of our actions, my prayer is this; when the time comes for me to leave this place I can do so.  That when I leave, that the ghosts of Iraq and my actions here leave me in peace…

 

 

RDC

 

Comments

[flythemig29]

July 4th was just another day here in Taji too. Keep the faith brother. It is worth the sacrifice we make to keep our families safe at home. If we were not here bringing the fight to them they would damn sure be bringing it to us. Maybe one day after all this is over we can meet for a pint at the Yard House in Long Beach.

[74]

Rustan, You've got the gift. You consistantly put into words the feelings I was never able to adequately express about my own experiences. With prose like that, Waters hasn't got a chance. Good Luck.

[kat-missouri]

I pray that today was quiet for you. I know it is now late there and you may be sleeping. One more day, one more hour. We pray that you will be safe and the cause of freedom will prevail.

God bless each and everyone of you.

[Kat]

WOW. I just found your blog late last night (or very early this a.m., LOL) and was profoundly touched by what you have written. THANK YOU for your service. We here at home love you and are proud of you! THANK YOU for all you do.

[Kat]

WOW. I just found your blog late last night (or very early this a.m., LOL) and was profoundly touched by what you have written. THANK YOU for your service. We here at home love you and are proud of you! THANK YOU for all you do.

[membrain]

Rusten I pray that you come home to your wife whole and sound and that the ghosts of Iraq and your actions there leave you in peace. Godspeed.

[membrain]

Rusten I pray that you come home to your wife whole and sound and that the ghosts of Iraq and your actions there leave you in peace. Godspeed.

[Rosemary]

Dear RDC,
You write so beautifully. My eyes are tearful, my spirit is proud to know you, and my heart is grateful for your service.

Do not worry, young man, you will be home soon. Just watch you back and front, and we will be waiting.

After all, you still have work to do. Who else is going to take Ms. Waters seat?!

God bless your family and you.

[Beth]

Russ, like you, I hope that the ghosts give you peace. Your service is enough. There is no need to continue to bear a burden for our country.

But I also hope that you can find peace today.

Gratitude from Phoenix for what you do for all of us...

[susan]

Happy Birthday America! Thanks for bringing into this world the first and most genuine "We the People's Revolution"!

We celebrate liberty and those who come to her defence!

[FastNed]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you each day, not just on the Fourth. To your question; "when my world ends will my love for my wife remain?" perhaps an answer can be found in the words of Sullivan Ballau, sent to his wife during our Civil War.

"July the 14th, 1861
Washington DC

My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan"

[devildog6771]

May God give you and your buddies on this special day all I can offer from this distance, peace and safety, and my heartfelt thanks that I have known personally such men as you!

[PebblePie]

This is so good... I posted it.

Thank You Soldier

[Chevy Rose]

Russ, sir you've done it again. You've spun your magic way with words and touch this old woman's heart. I hope you've got a copyright posted somewhere, cause I don't want you to lose credit for writing so poetic. Your words of honor, duty, love of country cuts through the glib and that is a national treasure. Stay safe, drink lots of water, and bask in the prayers that shield you each day. Happy Independence Day and God bless.

[kbug]

Back here in the states, you and your fellow soldiers and marines are not forgotten......at least not by me. Thank you for all you do and for the sacrifices you've made and continue to make everyday. Thank you for doing a job that too few are willing to do these days. Thank you for loving our country and for standing on the front lines. This July 4th, my family will proudly fly the flag as we do everyday and we will spend as much time as we can with our youngest son who will be deploying to Iraq later this year. I am so pround of him...and of all of you who serve. I hope you have a peaceful and uneventful 4th. Love to all of you......

[Michael]

Thank you.

[Vandegrift]

God bless and I hope that you all have the oppertunity to safely observe the Fourth of July holiday. There will be many prayers here on Oahu (Hawaii.) And I will be there on Schofield wishing you all safe return to the states. There is no Fourth of July without the duty of the soldier.

-Future Inf. Off (hopefully)
Vandegrift